I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you will always have a special place in my vag
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
