The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
