so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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