Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
