i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
