Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
