i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
