Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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