She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
