She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I currently don't understand fingers.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
