it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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