Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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