Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
