i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
