hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
