singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
