I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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