Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
