Say something about gay babies.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
