I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Operation Purity has been aborted
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
