How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
