The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
