Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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