she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
