similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
