last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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