we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
