I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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