After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
