I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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