she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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