What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
