So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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