Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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