like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
