I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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