he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
