omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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