How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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