So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
