she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
