You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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