No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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