go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
