Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
