I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
