You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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