Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
