i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
