Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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