I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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